December 2006:

29th: Firstly I hope anyone who reads my diary, have had a wonderful Christmas.   I enjoyed a lovely Christmas Day with my ex,   her husband, my daughters and partners, my eldest daughter's in-laws and my former mother-in law.   I received many lovely and thoughtful presents, lovely food and quite a bit of the old vino.     I came home on Boxing Day, however, I know I enjoy living on my own, I can please myself what and when I do something.  Nevertheless, I do miss the family environment, also having a loved one in my life.   That is the one thing missing in my life at the moment, who knows?-Perhaps this New Year weekend while I'm staying with friends in Newcastle and we are out on the town celebrating the New Year, I may meet someone! one can always lives in hope, as ever I am the eternal optimist.   Anyway, wishing everyone a Happy & Prosperous New Year

20th: I arrived home from the trans focus group meeting at Health First at around 12.30am this morning.   I felt it went very well, there were seven of us there 3 trans women/4 trans men and the 2 organizers/trainers from Health First   However, I was contacted on my mobile whilst travelling down to London to arrange a telephone interview for this morning with Joanna Caird from the Independent Sunday Review.   Joanna writes the weekly column "What it feels like", the interview lasted around 45 minutes and later I had to e.mail a couple of recent pictures of myself to use with the article which should be published sometime in January.      

18th: Well here we are, one week away from Christmas and surprisingly I have all presents wrapped.     No, last minute rushing about this year like last year, when I went to Turkey on the 22nd for two weeks.   There was a small Xmas party at the Porterbrook Gender Identity Clinic today for those   pre-ops who   attend the Peer Support Group, I got an invite along with other post-ops   and it was nice to catch up with old and new friends.   Busy day tomorrow (19th) I'm travelling to London again, this time for an early evening meeting at Health First.   I am part of a Trans Focus Group looking at what needs to been done for Transgender Awareness training for GPs and other health professionals.   Health First already provides training   sessions on Sexual Health and HIV, so, its late back home again for me.   The rest of this week is fairly quiet until Friday lunchtime, then I am meeting a couple of female friends to exchange presents and of course, do lunch.

10th: At last I am back and able to continue editing my web site.   I have been unable to do this because, since my move on Nov 22nd I have been   without a broadband server and I   have only be using dial-up to access my e.mails, I had forgotten how slow dial-up is.  Well! I am up and running with my new server today (Sky Broadband).   I hope you are all well and looking forward to Christmas.   I put up my small tree and decorations yesterday, also Gillian (my ex) and my youngest daughter came over to see my new place, my eldest daughter popped in for a meal last Wednesday night, I am looking forward to spending Christmas Day with them all.   I am at last settled in my new place, it is certainly true that moving home is one of the most stressful and traumatic times in our lives.   Anyway I am just glad to be back online and to keep up to date with friends all around the world.

November 2006:

21st:   This last week or so I just don't seem to have had time to write anything here, I am in the process of moving home, albeit that I am moving just a short distance staying in the village where I have lived for the last six years.   It has taken over my life completely, packing up in my old place, getting the new place ready, they do say that moving home is one of the most stressful times in your life, mind you with the type of migration I have gone through along with everyone else who travels the same transitional journey, moving home should be a piece of cake.   Nevertheless, there have been times this last few days when I thought I would meet myself coming back (as they say), in fact I must have been so tired one night I took the remote control to bed with me instead of   my phone, which has brought much amusement to my friends.   Anyway I finally move tomorrow the 22nd, then I can start thinking about Christmas.

10th: This last six days has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.   Last Saturday (4th) I spent over seven hours with a   really wonderful, beautiful, artistic/creative 17 year old girl (mtf) and her wonderful and supportive family.   This girl and her family have really   touched my heart, however, the support from the UK team regarding medical intervention   has been virtually   non-existent.     She was   not put on blockers until the age of 16.5, but by that time her male puberty was virtually complete.   Although the blockers have lowered her testosterone production, they haven’t prevented her facial and body hair from increasing, nor her hands and feet from growing; the Dutch team, deal with all of that, far-far earlier.   The UK team   doesn’t like to give cross-sex hormone at all – it is only given when people fight for it, and then, it is in such a minute dose as to be completely ineffective.   Their blocker 'protocol' is to give it (again, only if people fight for it) at 16 and a half and to keep them on it for 12 to 15 months, by which time people are on their way to adult services.       Although she has the support of her family, Mermaids, her school and friends there, she has been   in a dark place for some time, even though she knows that she will receive proper hormone treatment and SRS as an adult, (paid for by her family)   she has been let down by the system here in the UK, because   she not receive Puberty Blockers at the appropriate age;   this has saddened her deeply to   see   the testosterone ravaging her body which   is so incongruous to how she feels.  

I received an e.mail from her mum early Tuesday morning telling me that she had taken a massive overdose (paracetamol), she was alive and in hospital where they had put her on   an antidote drip, my heart sank with this news, but also because of my medical knowledge I know the effect an overdose of paracetamol can have on the liver. She was constantly treated with this drip over two days, there was also   a problem with her blood not clotting.   I was now hoping that there was nothing from our meeting on Saturday that had been a trigger, I   was so upset   that I was seriously thinking of walking away from the research and the other work I do for the trans community.   I was assured by her mother that there was nothing but positives that came out from my meeting with them on the Saturday and that I must not give up my research.   I realise that it will only be through those of us   who care;   that the system will be changed, to make sure these young people with Gender Identity Disorder receive the appropriate treatment here in the UK, which is being administered with successful results by the Dutch Clinic and Norman Spack in Boston.   On a happier note,   she returned home last night exhausted but amazingly unscathed, her liver function good and her blood clotting normally, her Guardian Angel is truly looking after her.   Now in the bosom of her family, she will receive all the TLC she needs for a full recovery that her mind, body and soul   needs.

October 2006:

31st: Another month goes by, I had a lovely weekend at the York Lesbian Arts Festival, met up with old friends and made new ones.   These next few weeks are going to be a bit hectic, subject to references (should be no problem) I shall be moving to a new flat.   I am only moving about 100 yards down the street, I am so happy to be staying in the village which has been so good for me the last, nearly six years.  

26th: Last weekend I attended the Gender Trust training session for Regional Representatives, which was held at the Brittania Hotel in Birmingham, I am now their Regional Representative for Yorkshire & Humberside, I shall also cover the North East for the time-being.   It was nice to meet people, with   whom I had only previously spoken with on the phone.   On Tuesday and Wednesday I finally did my Reiki 1 Attunement.   I took my attunement   along with my close friend Deborah, Debs owns the Hair & Beauty Salon (Bee 4Beauty) where I have my electrolysis.   Debs closed her salon down for two days so we could use her premises for the attunement.   It was a wonderful experience to be attuned, also to exchange healing with Debs, also to my surprise; I   resolved an issue from my childhood which I previously believed was resolved about 4 years ago during sessions with a counsellor/psychotherapist I was seeing at the time.   The energy I am gaining by being a channel for Reiki healing will compliment my spirituality, I just hope I can help many others who wish to be helped.   Tomorrow (Friday) I shall be in York, staying until Sunday, I'm attending the York Lesbian Arts Festival, see entry Oct 8th.

18th: I enjoyed my trip to London on the 10th, I found the Endocrinology Seminar very informative, see   News & Events   for my views on the Adolescent presentations.   It was a lovely evening out on Saturday 14th, it was a small family gathering at a new Chinese Restaurant to celebrate Gillian's 50th birthday, although her birthday isn't until the 22nd, but she will be in   Benidorm on that date.   We got our heads together for a good chat as we always do, asking me how my love life is (non-existent at moment) told her I was meeting someone on Sunday, so I had to promise to give her all my gossip, she absolutely   loved the present I   gave her.   It was also my dear friend Jills' birthday yesterday, I saw her on Monday to give her a card and present, then we went and did a little retail therapy.   I shall be in Birmingham this weekend for the Gender Trust meeting, if I get chance I might go to Birmingham's gay village for a couple of hours on Saturday night, 'you never know'.   My thoughts and prayers are with my friend Tanya who had her SRS done by Dr Suporn this morning.

8th: Here we are starting the second week in October, Christmas is bearing down on us, where did this last year go?   I've already had my orders   from my family, not to   leave the country this Christmas; especially from my ex Gillian, which is nice to know that family miss you at that time of year.   Well I have had some response to my Research Call (see News & Events) I have been chatting to a lovely lady who has a 17 year old daughter (mtf) and they have offered to be part of my research.   I shall also be   meeting this lady in London on Tuesday, as we are both attending an Endocrinology Conference at the Royal Society of Medicine.

This next Saturday is a night out   with a dozen or so family members   at a local Chinese Restaurant; to celebrate Gillian's 50th birthday. Then on the 21st & 22nd I am in Birmingham for a Gender Trust training session for regional contacts; I am the new North-East contact.   Then   on the 27th & 28th I am in York for the York Lesbian Arts Festival YLAF;   I had a good time there last year, however, I am going to the Club Diva night this year as well. Bye for now, will let you know how all these events go, especially the Club Diva night, over 2,000 lesbians dancing the night away.

September 2006:

30th: Hi everyone arrived home from a lovely holiday in Alcudia (Majorca) in the early hours of Friday (29th) morning.   It was a good chill out break for me, which I made new friends, 3 couples, one from Manchester, Belfast and Aberdeen.   I spent some great evenings with these lovely   people who had   befriended a woman travelling alone.   Went to a karaoke bar one night, got chatting to woman complimenting her, on her voice, turned out she was from Newcastle, so got chatting about places and bars I have visited in Newcastle.   She! of course then realised these were gay pubs and clubs and could not believe I was a lesbian by the way I dressed, she must have thought I was hitting on her because she explained she was happily married, again someone who has stereotypical views on what lesbians should look like.

Also staying in the same hotel were a couple from where I used to live and   whom I   knew quite well in my   past life.   Needless to say they did not recognise me when I cheekily said 'hello' but had a faint feeling they knew me.   After explaining they seemed fine, shocked I guess but were friendly and always chatted when I saw them.   Alcudia hol pics see gallery

19th: This last weekend I went to Newcastle to spend a couple of days with my friends Laura & Rachel, staying at Rachel's apartment in Jesmond.   They took me out to a lovely restaurant 'Gershwins' the food and wine were excellent, although the service didn't match, it was however a lovely relaxing atmosphere with the live Jazz session.   I was treated to Sunday dinner at Switch which is in Newcastle's gay village.   Had a lovely weekend just what I needed, came home and realised I must get out of my flat, I have so fallen out of love with it, just listening to them living above me is getting too much, I love the area but need to find a new place soon before my health suffers.

I have really got my juices going again   by putting together my latest research, realising how much I miss   it.   I'm off to Majorca in two days, looking forward to it, however, I have cancelled my hire car, I just did not feel like driving when I get there, so I have booked a car and driver to take me to my hotel in Alcudia, then return me to the airport a week later.  

7th: It has been a pretty quiet start to September, I've just been chilling out catching up on stuff I have neglected, looking forward to my week in Majorca from the 21st.   My eldest daughter   has just phoned to tell me she has passed her driving test, her first attempt, she had only told her partner about taking the test, I am so pleased for her, especially as she had a few lessons with 'yours truly'.   Over the last couple of weeks I have including in my News and Events page; the story of the Batavia School Teacher.   I must congratulate all those involved from the school, for their understanding and sensitivity for this obviously valued member of staff during her   transition; http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/07/nyregion/07journal.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

I have also thoroughly enjoyed reading the article 'A safe house for the girl within' The story of Casa Susanna in Hunter NY!which was in the early 1960s a weekend   refuge for transvestites, many! who during the week were professional men in grey flannel suits: http://tinyurl.com/ro2br

August 2006:

29th: I had such a wonderful weekend at Manchester Pride. I returned home a day early, just too much partying took its toll on me. The highlight for me was taking part in the Parade on Saturday with the Royal College of Nursing, see gallery   .   I was also filming again as part of   another trans woman's   story which will be shown in episode two of the Discovery Health series.   Also on Saturday night   Andrea and Mike from Mandrill Television (production company)   helped me celebrate my birthday early,   we had a meal at a lovely Thai Restaurant where we did some more filming, then later back in Canal St they bought me Champagne.   Therefore, I just had a quiet drink at home yesterday   to celebrate my official   birthday.   Must admit I've got a   few other dates I celebrate, its 5 years and 4 months since I changed my name by deed poll and transitioned full time, its 19 months on Sept 1st since my SRS, its 8 months since my new birth certificate was issued.

I would like to thank Dr Marjorie Anne Napewastewin Schutzer for her lovely kind words about my site, which can be read in my guest book

25th: Going to Manchester Pride this afternoon so that I'm there for the opening at 6pm this evening.   Looking forward to a good weekend, especially Monday which is my birthday. I'll be back on Tuesday, so I hope you all have a lovely Bank Holiday weekend.

22nd: Yesterday (Monday) I had a minor op to remove what was originally believed to be a small non-malignant tumour from inside my left lower eyelid.   However, fortunately it turned out to be a cyst consisting of calcium deposits and there were actually two cysts.   Therefore, it had no root so there was no need for any cutting to be done.   What they did after giving me a local anaesthetic, was to scrape away the cysts with a needle, I was pleased about no cutting because it means I probably get away without any bruising.   Today, under my eye, it is obviously still a little red and puffy, a little sore and I have to put in an ointment for five days to stop infection.   So, now I am looking forward to Manchester Pride over the bank holiday weekend.   I am also doing a little more filming whilst there, this is for the one year follow-up Discovery Health Documentary.     This is not for the episode about what has happened to myself this last year, it will just be a little snippet of myself walking and talking   to someone who is part of the final episode, this is being done during the Pride Parade.

14th: The weather has certainly changed, where has the constant sunshine gone?   I went over to Manchester again yesterday (Sunday) I met up with a couple of friends at Taurus in Canal St.   We later went to Churchills to listen to those brave enough to get up for the karaoke, certainly not me.     Later I went back to Taurus to have a meal before catching   the train home, I do enjoy meeting with friends in Manchester.     I am really looking forward to being in Manchester for their Pride event on the Bank Holiday weekend, I am staying there for the whole weekend, actually I am taking part in the Parade on the Saturday with the 'Make Discrimination History'   Royal College of Nursing   float, it is also my birthday on the Monday.   Well!  my newly designed site has been online for 3 days now, I hope everyone likes the new design, the response so far has been very positive.

11th: At last I have managed to finish the revamp of the web site (hope you like it).   I have gone with a new host so that I will have more tools to work with, so as to create which I hope is an interesting source of information, support and have a laugh/smile at times, which we all need in our lives.   I am pleased that I was able to change the 'url' using my name, all being well it will be published online in its new format this evening.   I shall leave the other site running for a while with a re-direct to here.

6th: I've had a lovely couple of days with   my dear friend Jessica.   I drove over yesterday to Jessica's house   which   is near Alsager in Cheshire, I have been to visit her many times but this was the first time I had stayed over for a night.   On Saturday we had nice couple of hours shopping, then lunch and back to her place to chill out, before going to see some friends of   Jessicas'   who live in Crewe, they were having a BBQ on Saturday night.   Most everyone there were friends of Jessicas through her time at Manchester University, it was lovely evening, nice food/drink and good conversation.   Today I just sat out in Jessica's garden, while she did some tidying of the plants and lawn, then a lovely lunch, her girlfriend came over later and we sat in the sun having a good chat.   I must say I feel a little re-vitalised after my visit, then Jessica always knows how to lift my spirits and I just love our meaningful conversations.

1st:     Tonight I visited another web site, this time someone I know and have met, again I read of another trans person stating how much   they cherish being Transsexual.   Well! I don't apologise for not prescribing to this often said and written   notion, myself,   I just cherish being female.     Most of my life until nearly six years ago had been screwed up by being trans/suffering from Gender Identity Disorder, that is why I do what I can now through my seminars, so that others do not have to go through what I did, for them to have support   and to bring about a better awareness of Transgender Issues.

However, I am now cured-realigned, it hurts that I was not a natal female at birth, I especially feel strongly that I was denied the right to childbirth.   Nevertheless, as stated in My Story; the two precious things to come out of my other life are my two wonderful daughters.   Its getting late and I'm now getting down off my soapbox to finish my glass of wine and retire to my bed.   Goodnight.

July 2006:

30th: I've had a quite enjoyable weekend, having been to two gay events here in Yorkshire.   The first was yesterday afternoon and early evening, however, in the morning I met up with Katy for some retail therapy, she is one of my lovely friends from my University days.   Then I attended Viva Climax, the LGBT party in the garden at Sheffield University.   I just stayed until early evening, but it was nice to meet girls from Pink Sofa, which I am also a member of, also to see other friends and enjoy the party atmosphere.

I knew there was a Pink Picnic at Castle Hills Huddersfield today, but I was not going to go.   However, at midday, seeing it was another nice day I decided to drive over, its about an half-hour drive.   I spent about three hours there, looking around the few stalls, watching a couple drag acts, a little food and drink (soft drink only).     It was also nice to see friends and catch up with them, especially one lady I have previously only ever spoke with on the phone.   Even a rain shower did not dampen the party atmosphere.  

24th: Well! it certainly has been a busy day.   This morning I had an appointment with the doctor at Porterbrook Gender Identity Clinic, although I am post-op I still attend so that my oestrogen levels can be sorted.   When resuming HRT after my SRS my levels were not going back   to what they should be, equivalent of a post-menopausal woman.   My dosage was increased to 100mg from 50mg and a blood test done in February of this year showed a level nearly four times what it should be.   My dosage was reduced to 75mg, I got the results today from blood test done in May and my levels were what they should be for a post-menopausal woman, also my cholesterol was 4.1, really pleased with that.

This afternoon I saw the Thoracic Consultant at Rotherham District General, I explained all that had happened back on April 5th.   He checked my chest sounds and I still have bilateral wheezing, but no crackles.   I had a chest x-ray, blood tests and a lung function test while I was there, I also   must to do a peak flow chart morning and night for a month, doing the peak flow test after my present medication for a week, then using a new inhaler for the other three weeks.   I then send the chart to the consultant, then along with the other results they will determine what needs to been done next, hopefully, it will be okay just to carry on with my inhalers.   So! its been a busy day especially giving up my blood, so its a rest day tomorrow, just a session of electrolysis, what is it with me and needles.

22nd: The heatwave continues, personally I love it, but I know it does not suit everyone.   We had a thunderstorm earlier with quite a bit of rain, so that appears to have made things fresher.   Still trying to catch up with friends by e.mail, as my friend Lynn (lives in Vermont, came to London   in April)   reminded me earlier that she heard not heard from me in a while.   Think I have got around to everyone now either by mail or phone.   Looking forward to seeing my youngest daughter, she has been living with a French family in La Rochelle for the last two weeks.   She got a degree in German last year, she   has to brush up on her French prior to starting her PGCE course to be a Modern Languages Teacher at the end of September.

I am really looking forward to Manchester Pride at August Bank Holiday, I managed yesterday to book online, reasonable accommodation for the four nights of that weekend.   I am staying in Weston Hall which part of the University halls of residence but opens as a hotel during the summer months between the finish and start of semesters.   It is really handy, because it is situated in Sackville St which is right on the edge of the village and Canal St where Pride is happening.

17th: Well! I have certainly brought the lovely weather back from Turkey with me.   Had a lovely day yesterday (Sunday) I went over to Manchester, sat outside my favourite bar and restaurant   Taurus, in Canal St.  Good food, good wine and excellent company, I just love sitting there on a Sunday afternoon, people watching and watching the world go by.   Finally got a date for the minor op to remove the small cyst from inside my lower left eye, August 21st.   I am also seeing a Thoracic Consultant on July 24th, this is because since my Life and Death experience when I had Breast Augmentation, my Asthma has been worse which had shown on a Spirometery test (lung function)carried out at my health clinic.   Funnily enough while in Turkey I never had a problem with my breathing, even with the hotter climate, always seem to cope better when abroad.  

15th: Here I am again; home from having a fantastic time in Turkey, I arrived home on Wednesday night (12th) been so busy since, catching up with friends, family, of course getting the washing and ironing done.   Well I did have a good time apart from a couple of hiccups and the temperature never fell below 33c.   On the second day it was so hot around 38c, that in the evening I felt ill while having a drink and chatting with new friends, decided to go to my room, however,   I only got a few yards when I fainted.   I soon came around and thanks to the staff and the Turkish medic who was   there on holiday,   he helped me and explained I had probably suffered heat exhaustion, that   it would also be advisable to get myself a hat, which I duly did next day, a Stetson.  

I visited the Greek Island of Kos going over on the hydro-foil from Bodrum.   Also did some sightseeing in Bodrum, the Mausoleum of Halicarnassus (7th wonder of the world)   and of course   I had to do some   shopping.   I visited the ancient city of Ephesus, where I stood on the stage in the Amphitheatre  gallery   where many concerts have been held including Elton John in 2001.   The excavations are only one-third done but it is certainly impressive.   gallery     I also visited Dalyan, famous for its mudbaths, the Rock Tombs   gallery   I also   went down the River Dalyan (where the film The African Queen was filmed)   gallery   to Turtle Beach, where the Turtles arrive for two months every year to bury their eggs, only saw one turtle in the river as it surfaced for air.

The rest of my two weeks I just sat relaxing either on the beach or around the pool at my hotel in Gumbet.   I did have a lovely time and met some really lovely people, especially the two girls from Holland I made friends with gallery,   also Adam who worked   in the bar/entertainment area of the hotel   and Sami who worked in a bar near the hotel.   My other hiccup was the Monday before I came home, I had been bitten on my right arm whilst in Dalyan the day before.   I was sat on the beach that Monday when the bite became extensively swollen and my skin became infected.     I went to the medical room at the hotel who arranged for me to go straight to a clinic, I was told at the clinic that it was a horsefly bite, I was put on antibiotics given intravenously.   I spent a couple of hours there, they looked after me very well, they gave me some anti-histamine and steroid creams, penicillin tablets to take with me, everything is o'k now, but thank god I had good travel insurance.   It did not stop me enjoying my final two days though, I shall definitely go back there sometime.

June 2006:

28th: Well I am away for two weeks now.   I am going to Gumbet in Turkey until July 12th, I am hoping   that my     Asthma is going to improve, it has been slightly worse since my near death experience when I had the breast augmentation.   I have an appointment to see a Thoracic Consultant on July 24th.   On the good news side, I received my ticket for Manchester Pride which is taking place over the August Bank Holiday weekend, which also happens to include my birthday.   See you in a couple of weeks and lets hope England do well in Germany, I shall be finding a screen that is showing their matches.

I am starting to look forward to my two weeks   holiday in Gumbet Turkey from the 28th, after the cooler overcast weather of the last few days I am ready for the warm sunny climate of the Aegean.

22nd: Last night I went out   for for the evening with two dear friends Jill and Julie.   After a drink at Vodka Revolution in   Sheffield, we went just around the corner to one of my favouriterestaurants Las Iguanas.   Walked in and to my surprise having a drink there with her friend Jess, was my lovely young friend Natalie, we were at Uni together.   Anyway we managed to get a table (no reservation) we   shared a very refreshing jug of Sangria, for my meal I tried for the first time   Xinxim, it was absolutely delicious.   Its lovely to have these nights out and catch up with friends.

On the 20th I went with my eldest daughter and my friend Jill's youngest daughter to see KT Tunstall at the City Hall, Sheffield.   What a fabulous singer and musician she is and what a wonderful performance she put on.

16th: A couple of months ago I was approached   by Chat magazine;   they wanted   to write and publish a short story about me.   I only got to know on the 13th that in fact it had been   published in the issue which came on sale on the 8th, I thought it was going to be in the issue out on the 15th.   It was just a short timeline sort of story about my transition and titled Born Again.     The story also told of   how I told the family and how   they   are still very much   part of my life.   No real names except mine were used, I wanted it that way, there were one or two inaccuracies in the story around dates, however, overall friends that read it thought it   had been tastefully written.   (Article   can be seen in Media Stuff)  

  I have heard since that another magazine might be interested in doing a much more in-depth story, we shall see.

13th: Yesterday was my youngest daughter's 23rd birthday, where does the time go?   Talking of time, I got out of bed Sunday morning (11th) the sun was shining and I just felt I don't want to spend a beautiful day on my own.   I seem to get these days more often, I have spent too much time on my own over these last few years, yes! it was by choice, however, that certainly is not the case now.   I need to have companionship/relationship in my life now; to complete me.   I do have many friends, but I do not have a soulmate and I know she is out there.

Anyway back to Sunday; I love being spontaneous, so I just got on the midday train to Manchester (sounds like a song).   I had a wonderful afternoon in the sun sat at a table outside Taurus in Canal St, good food, good wine and excellent company of the people I started chatting to at the next table.   Then my lovely friend Jacqui managed to come over from Salford around 5pm and we did a little catching up, not seen her for a few months, although we do phone, text, or chat on gaydargirls.   So all in all it turned out a beautiful day, it is good to be spontaneous.   Just so much looking forward now to my two weeks in Gumbet Turkey from the 28th.

4th:   Yesterday I attended   a Trans Conference at The Friends Meeting House Euston Rd London.   This conference was organized by the LGBT Advisory Group who are the policing watchdog for LGBT people in London.   The person responsible for putting this conference together and the lead; was Rachel Elizabeth Hopkins and the event introduction was given by the vice co-chair of the LGBT Advisory Group.     They spoke of the aims of this conference, that they were issues on; Transphobic Crimes, support from the Police Service and that the T must always be inclusive LGBT.   First up were Bernard and Terry Reed with an excellent presentation on sex and gender development, the pre-conceptions on male or female and their work through GIRES with the police on trans-issues.

Next up was the lovely Maya, a Malaysian trans woman who is a Senior Crown Prosecutor with the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS).   Maya talked about the Victim-new code of practice which came into force on 03/04.06.   The CPS policies on prosecuting cases of transphobia, issues on information-support-protection,   the need for constant review and the special measures which could be put in place.

In the afternoon session Emma a trans woman who is a police officer with the Essex Police Service gave an interesting presentation titled: ' A Life More Ordinary ' which encompassed on how she managed life as a trans woman in the police force.   It was good to see the support that she had   received from her senior officers and from the gay police officers who attended this conference.  

Rachel Hopkins the other co-chair of LGBT Advisory Group and founder of The Rubicon Society gave a presentation on the narratives used to describe people who come under the umbrella called the Transgender Community.   Discussion on legislation, a slight repeat on what Bernard and Terry had done earlier, the link between Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation and that the T does belong on the end of LGB.  She finished off with the myths, stereotypes and preconceptions that people have or use when discussing trans people, also concluding with the need for Good Practice, in the workplace, equality and diversity monitoring, HR departments are aware of new and proposed legislation.   Members of Unions should make sure T issues are catered for, do not use offensive language even if it is a joke, challenge stereotyping wherever it occurs and don't be afraid to ask questions.

It was an excellent conference which got its audience involved at all times and all   questions were answered where possible, it was good to see many people like myself using this opportunity for networking to improve education on trans issues.  

May 2006

29th: I had a lovely trip down to London on the 2nd to meet up with my lovely American friend Lynn and her partner Mar who were over here for nine days.   We enjoyed a day of sightseeing (Tower of London) then later Covent Garden, where we had a lovely evening meal before I headed back for the train home.

On the 14th I went over to the Lesbian Diners Group who meet in Taurus in Canal St Manchester every couple months, really enjoy these trips catching up with old friends and the delight of meeting new ones.   I've had another check-up with Mr Adeogba who did my breast augmentation, everything is looking well, as you can see by my most recent photo; (front page and gallery)

I did my last session of filming for the new documentary on the 23rd, these were the after part; shots of my breast augmentation.   Topless on television what have I done?   Well you see it everytime on cosmetic surgery programmes, before and after.

I went to Birmingham Pride on Sunday 28th.   The parade was really good and so colourful as it weaved its way through the city centre back to the gay village.   (see pics in gallery)     Luckily I met up with a lady from Birmingham whom I had met in Manchester a couple of weeks earlier.   She was there with a couple off friends and they invited me to spend the rest of the day with them.   I really had a good time and I know look forward to Manchester Pride at the end of August.

APRIL 2006

21st: Just over two weeks after my breast augmentation, recovering well, I just had a little discharge from the op scar last weekend had it checked out at the clinic and all is well.   I had a lovely day Easter Sunday I went to see my dear friend Jessica in Cheshire, had a lovely meal with some of her friends, really enjoyed the day in good company.   See: gallery

10th: On Wednesday the 5^th I booked into the Birkdale Clinic in Crosby, Liverpool to have my Breast Augmentation procedure, this was to be done by cosmetic surgeon Mr Adeogba.   I also had with me the production team from Mandrill Television who were to film my procedure as part of the one-year follow up to the Sex Change series shown on the Discovery Health Channel last year.

After doing the filming of me arriving, I was informed by the Care Co-ordinator that my surgery would be delayed to around 7pm instead of 6pm.   I settled into my room did a little more filming, went through the admission process with the nurse and got myself prepared for surgery.   Around 6.30pm Steve Thomas the Theatre Manager came and introduced himself, then Dr Bhala the Anaesthetist went through my notes with me, I again related to him that I suffered from Asthma which had never been a problem during previous surgeries, little did I know of the drama that was about unfold within the next half-hour.

I went to the anaesthesia room adjacent to the operating theatre at just turned 7pm, the film crew were with me.   The cannula for administering the general anaesthetic was put into the back of my left hand, as I felt the coldness of the anaesthetic going into my hand I told Steve to let me go to sleep with a smile on my face, so I could wake with a smile, that is the last thing I remember until waking after surgery.   I was unaware of the drama that unfolded as I went under the anaesthetic and I was only informed of the whole story of my Life and Death event the next morning.

Apparently on going to sleep I immediately had a major Asthma attack, Dr Bhala then tried to tube and bag me to help with my breathing, it became apparent the situation was worse than first thought, Mike the sound guy with the film crew had then also realized something was wrong remarking about Carol turning blue, the film crew then left going into the operating theatre. I was told next day by Dr Bhala and Steve Thomas that my airway had completely closed, that as well as the Asthma attack I had Obstructive Apnea, I was in respiratory failure.   I was told that by this time my skin colour was beginning to go black, my heart rate and blood pressure readings were at the highest level which happens prior to heart-failure, it had become in the words of Steve Thomas a life and death situation and I was lucky that had such an experienced Anaesthetist attending me.   They got a second cannula into my right hand which enabled them to give intravenously; Ventolin and Steroids.  Fortunately this intervention enabled them to open my airway and insert a tube to assist my breathing.   They managed to stabilize me and my Breast Augmentation went ahead forty minutes later.

I especially wish to express my deep gratitude to the Consult Anaesthetist Dr Bhala and Theatre Manager Steve Thomas, who undoubtedly saved my life.   I also wish to thank the surgeon Mr Adeogba who carried out my breast augmentation, all the nurses and staff who looked after me so superbly during my stay.  

March 2006

28th: Seems to be a busy month, socializing, voluntary work   amongst other things.   I have been filming again which is for the one year follow-up to the Sex Change documentary, which was shown on Discovery Health last year.   We had a full day of   filming on the12th, filming at home, interview etc,   then at the Lesbian Diners group in Taurus restaurant in Canal St Manchester in the afternoon.   Also did a shoot at Pulse & Cocktails on the 17th,   checking at their extensive range of vibrators.   My last day of filming is on April 5th, I will tell you about this later, this is special, well it is for me. I have received an appointment to see the eye specialist on April 3^rd

February 2006

On the 27th I went on a coach tour to Ireland with some of the family. We stayed in Bray, visiting Dublin, Wicklow Mts and MtsWicklow itself, Avoca, which is better known as Ballykissangel.   We had a really enjoyable time and I must go back and see more of Dublin.   I had started to lose some weight prior to this trip, unfortunately due to some good food and of course the odd pint of Guinness, the previous loss all came back.

January 2006

28th: On the 6th I returned from spending Christmas and New Year in Turkey.   Christmas was spent in Marmaris, then because of lack of facilities and poor service at the hotel, myself and five friends I had made were moved to Antalya for the New Year and second week.   It was not the greatest of holidays but I did at least make new friends.   I shall hopefully go back to Turkey this summer, to see it at its best.   On the 13th I received copies of my new birth certificate, the final piece of paper for the affirmation of who I am.   For a couple of months I have suffered with a small lesion on the inside of my left lower eyelid, I have been referred to an eye specialist, unfortunately there is around a 15 week waiting.