2002

A New Year begins for me as my true-self.  Christmas and New Year over, I was knuckling down to some serious revision for an exam on Human Body, Form, Function and Design which I was to fail, however, I passed it on my re-sit.  The majority of the assessment during my course was to be written work, assignments and presentations, I would only have to take one other exam in my first year and that was Molecular Science; which I passed first time. 

During my first year at University I had to take some option modules from other departments to gain the further credits I needed to take me to 120 for the two semesters.  In the autumn semester I studied Foundations of Feminism which gave me a greater understanding and empathy of how women had struggled in their fight for equality/rights.  In the spring semester I studied Contemporary Feminist Issues, which brought me a greater understanding and awareness of issues for modern women.  Meeting and socialising with other women on these courses reinforced my affirmation of being just another mature woman going through University.

My speech therapy was well under way now, I was learning so much.  I realised that I needed to work hard, put in plenty of practice and this helped with my confidence (although as friends say it is something I do not lack).  This paid off because after seven sessions with Jane my speech therapist, she did a test on me with some equipment that measures the voice range; I came out with a voice that registered in the mid-range of the female voice spectrum.  One thing that Jane always remarked on was that I was lucky, because I have no visible Adams Apple, Jane used to remark that hers was more visible than mine.

I realised during the early part of that year that something I had to start and plan for, was to get my nose corrected.  I had what I called a male type nose in that it was quite bulbous at the tip and this had to be put right. Rhinoplasty in Prague

During those first few months of 2002 I had been waiting expectantly for the hormone treatment to have an affect on me.  I did understand that it would be a slow progression of change, however, I did realise there were little if subtle changes physically/psychologically happening and no matter how small these were, it was reassuring.  It had been explained to me at the clinic that they wanted to get my oestrogen levels raised before starting me on anti-androgens.  I was having blood tests carried out around every 8-10 weeks as I was still a private patient.  One thing I did notice was my moods changed, especially monthly which I came to term My Monthly Moodiness.  With this I also became very tearful at times and I knew this was part of my natural progression to womanhood, the starting of my puberty at fifty three years of age; WOW!  It felt so right, even if I was a late starter, (I know what Bailey and Blanchard can do with their theories).

In April I went to see Sue my hairdresser and discussed having hair extensions.  I wanted to do this until my hair had grown to shoulder length so that I could have it styled into a bob, which along with Sue; I thought would suit me.  At the end of April, I had during a five hour session, red hair extensions from Raccoon put in place.  My hair was now down to my shoulder blades, the idea then was to gradually cut it back until my hair was a suitable length for the extensions to be removed.  Over the next eighteen months I had such fun styling my hair, especially putting it up on top or just simply putting it in a ponytail, especially when I was attending courses at University.

It was now May, my first year at University was nearing its end, the time for my end of year assignments and the final exam (Molecular Science) that I would have to sit, over the next two years it would be all written work or assessment on presentations for the rest of the course.  Well! I passed everything including the exam, phew!  By the end of July I was contemplating having a nose-job which I mentioned previously, I did have quite a bulbous tip to my nose which gave it too much of a male definition. Rhinoplasty in Prague

I started to research cosmetic surgeons, especially abroad, who would be less expensive; I had been quoted 3,500 pounds here in the UK.  Another situation had to be resolved, I had never travelled abroad before, and therefore, I had no passport.  Well at least I was starting afresh not having to change anything.  I applied for my passport beginning of August, supplying a letter from Dr Wylie about my gender change and within four weeks I had my first ever passport, another document validating my gender, although I still hate the photo, not many people realise that the Passport Agency have a dedicated officer to deal with applications from transsexuals.  It was also during August that Dr Wylie had received confirmation from my Primary Care Trust that they would fund my treatment at the clinic, which became quite a relief to me and my bank balance.

It was also around this time that I was on a committee at the University to help organise a mature students welcome weekend, which would be run the first weekend in September.  It was here that I first met the lovely Julie who was a mature Biomedical Sciences student; we were to work together on the welcome weekend, running a pop quiz between us and talking about life at University as mature students.  Julie was to become one of my dearest and closest friends, Jules as she prefers has been both supportive and helpful through my time at University and afterwards.

 I decided on Dr Tomas Dolezal (photo) a cosmetic surgeon in Prague to do my Rhinoplasty, after many e-mails and phone conversations my surgery was scheduled for Wednesday September 18^th, the cost of surgery would be 1,200 pounds Rhinoplasty in Prague   Meanwhile I informed Dr Wylie at the Porterbrook clinic about what I was intending to do.  He did voice his concerns, which I respected, but as long as the surgical team in Prague had my relevant treatment details, it would be fine.  I had to ask Dr Dolezal if I needed to stop my hormone treatment prior to surgery and he e-mailed me to say no and that they would be giving me injections to prevent blood clots.  

 I now had to sort out flights, I had never flown before, and therefore, I decided I did not want this to be my maiden (sorry about the pun) flight.  I had always wanted to go to Paris, so I booked to fly there from Manchester on Friday 13^th for the weekend, returning on Monday 16^th, yes! a few of my friends thought I was mad doing my first ever flight on Friday 13^th, but I put my trust in British Airways.  I had a wonderful weekend, visiting the Louvre Museum, Notre Dame, Seine boat trip, Eiffel Tower, the beautiful Tuilerie Gardens and of course the many wonderful but expensive shops.  The return flight on the Monday evening started with an event, we had all boarded and it was announced they had found one piece of luggage too many, you could see the panic in some peoples faces, one year on from 9/11.  However, they kept us on the plane while it was sorted and we departed for Manchester an hour and a quarter late.  I arrived back home at 10pm, this was going to be a quick turn around, get some sleep, because I was flying out to Prague from East Midlands on Tuesday morning at 10am.  Surgery went fine and I flew home on Friday 20^th, from never been in on a plane before I had done four flights in eight days. Rhinoplasty in Prague

I had only told close friends that I had gone to Prague for a nose-job, so when I started back at University on September 29^th those that did not know had quite a shock when I walked in looking like a Panda with two lovely black eyes.  It was now nose to the grindstone, because the second year of my course counted in part towards my final marks for my degree. 

Life was good, I really was starting to feel that my life was coming together, just being my true self, my relationship with Gillian and the girls was so good, much more than I could have hoped for seeing what I had put them through.  I realised Gillian seemed happier and it turned out she had a new man in her life, I was so happy for her.   

I now had the travel bug, so I booked to spend Christmas and New Year in Malta, staying for three weeks in Qawra, flying out on Christmas Eve at 9pm which meant landing in Malta in the early hours of Christmas Day.  The swelling around my nose and eyes was starting to subside.  The next important date for me was in November, Dr Wylie was to confirm my commencement of anti-androgen treatment to suppress my testosterone and I had now been on oestrogen patches nearly eleven months.  I was started on Cyproterone Acetate (Androcur 50mg) I was pleased that they were going to carry out blood tests around every six weeks to monitor my liver/kidney function and hormone levels.  I had also got to know the new man in Gillian’s life, we got on really well even though he had known my former self, he had no problem with it, he treated me and still does with the respect that he would give to any woman, believe you me that meant so much to me.

Christmas and New Year 2002/03 was a wonderful time.  It felt a little a weird being in a foreign country at this time of the year, however, there were so many Brits in the hotel where I was staying, that it turned out a wonderful experience.  Overall I was passing well at this time, I did have one or two people with whom I had struck up conversations with, ask me if I was a Transsexual.  I am always honest about my history and in the main I found these people really understanding, perhaps it makes us more interesting to them (just me being cynical).  I had taken with me lots of reading material for the assignments that had to be completed and handed in by the end of January; I wasn’t getting home until Jan 14^th.

I hired a car for 15 days on the intention of visiting as much of the Island as possible, which I did, some places more than once. I particularly loved the capital Valletta, especially with its naval history and the connection with the Knights Templar.  There are many beautiful fishing villages around Malta and my favourite was; Marsaxlokk. 

 I also found this beautiful place called Xlendi

which is on the smaller sister Island of Gozo.  

It was so relaxing to sit for long periods on the jetty,

just watching life go by at such a slow pace,

a place I would like to spend more time in.

While staying in Malta I took the chance to do something I have always dreamt of, this was to visit the volcano Mt Etna in Sicily.  I went on an organised trip, going over on the very early morning high-speed ferry from Valletta.  A coach then took us through the wonderful Sicilian countryside; the aroma from the citrus groves was a sensory delight.  We left the coach to stand as close as we were allowed to Mt Etna, because it was active at the time; the smell of sulphur dulled the sensory delight I had experienced earlier.

We were then taken to the beautiful town of Taormina. 

We had time there to stroll around the town,

do some shopping (my favourite pastime) and have a meal.

Taormina town square with the Church being the focal point.

As the coach took us back to catch the evening ferry,

we travelled past Mt Etna as it was getting dark, I could

see the glowing red colour of the lava flow, which in daylight looks grey. 

This was a visit that is still so vivid in my mind today, a truly wonderful experience.